Christ Our Savior Catholic School
Friday, March 7, 2008
Dear Parents and Guardians of Christ Our Savior Catholic School,
As you are well aware of the tragedy that occurred yesterday, we at Christ Our Savior express our deepest sympathy for all those involved. We live in a world where human life is devalued, as was made poignantly clear yesterday afternoon.
The purpose of this special bulletin is two-fold.
First and foremost, please know that the children, faculty, and staff of Christ Our Savior were safe at all times yesterday. Please be assured that your children continue to be safe when they are in our care. As you know from previous principal weekly blue notes, their safety is our highest priority.
Second, here are some actions we are taking in light of yesterday’s events. We prayed this morning for the victims and their families and friends. We prayed for our own families, friends, and neighbors. And we prayed for the perpetrators and their families as well. Jesus wants for us to love one another. We will continue to pray for all those people who are affected by senseless violence in our world and in our own back yard. Our school mass next Friday morning will stress Jesus’ call to love one another and to forgive one another.
Our children do a wonderful job treating each other with respect and dignity. We say our pledge, written below, every morning before school starts. We will continue to say this pledge every morning.
Christ Our Savior Morning Pledge:
I am a smart, special, valuable person.
I will respect myself and others.
My words and actions are always kind and honest.
Christ Our Savior, help me to be my very best today.
Sister Eileen, our school counselor, will be readily available to students if they have any questions, comments, or concerns. She is a wonderful resource for parents/guardians as well.
If you have any questions, please feel free to contact me at the school at (708) 333-8173. I hope you have a peaceful and hopeful weekend.
Mr. Lungaro
WHEN A TRAGEDY OCCURS PARENTS & TEACHERS CAN HELP
When a tragedy occurs, the entire school community may be affected. Such events can create feelings of
helplessness and confusion. The emotional and spiritual struggles, which arise at a time such as this, can
leave individuals and the school as a whole feeling quite shaken. By being aware of some of the feelings
and struggles likely to occur under these circumstances, we can be in a better position to help one another and ourselves through this difficult time.
Special attention is given to the needs of our students/children during a time of tragedy. Less able to put
into words their anxiety, confusion or embarrassment, students may act out their concerns in a variety of
unaccustomed ways. We can all help our students cope by offering additional nurturing and support. We
can talk to our students, listen to their feelings and be patient with their struggle to make sense out of a
confusing situation.
Not surprisingly, adults feel anxious and helpless about talking to students about what has happened.
Thoughts and questions, like the following, cross adults minds:
- I dont know what to say. Im too upset to talk about it.
- Should I just wait for my child to bring it up?
- Wouldnt it be better if the children just forgot about it? Thinking about things like this just make them more upset.
- I brought it up once and they refused to talk about it. Why bring it up again?
- Yet, at a time like this, parents and teachers can help children in ways no one else can.
WHAT HELPS CHILDREN NOW?
BRINGING IT UP FIRST: Parents or teachers make it easier for children to talk about an event if they bring
up the topic first. This shows children that adults can face what has happened and that adults can handle their upset feelings. It is a good idea to talk about this in a place and at a time when the child is likely to feel secure and comfortable a familiar place without interruptions.
STARTING WITH THE KNOWN: It is usually easier for everybody if parent(s) or teacher(s) start with what
they know the child has seen, heard or already mentioned. Something simple like this can help. I know you saw the story about ______________ on television tonight or You mentioned that the kids at school are upset about what theyve heard about
NORMALIZING FEELINGS: Children especially feel confused by the feelings that arise at a time like this.
A statement from the adult that their feelings are normal can help them express their thoughts and
feelings something like, This is the kind of news that can upset anybody, and it usually helps to talk about it. The adult can then ask the child if they have things to say or questions about what has happened.
LISTENING WITH ACCEPTANCE: Listening is a way of letting children know that their feelings, whatever
they are, deserve attention, respect and understanding.
GOING AT THE CHILDS PACE: Encouragement to go at their own pace in talking about feelings steadies
youngsters. Some want to talk about the events as soon as they hear about it -- others need to wait a while. They often ask one or two serious questions and then change the subject to something lighter, only to come back to the troublesome feelings days or weeks later. Thinking and talking about this in small steps may be as much as they can handle.
MAKING SENSE: It helps children to hear statements from the adult telling them that the thoughts,
questions and feelings they have now are normal at a time like this. These words of acceptance help children feel calmer, more normal and able to live with their inner unsettledness.
REPEATING: Asking the same questions and hearing the same answers helps most children. This calms
them in the same way as hearing a scary story many times each time it becomes a little less frightening.
BEING HONEST: Honesty from the adults helps repair the crack in the trust of the adult world. So it is
important for parents or teachers not to lie or evade real questions youngsters are asking. Answering questions clearly and matter-of-factly calms children. Often, adults do not know the answers to some of the questions children ask. At these times, it is better to say so directly, rather than guess or avoid the question. Seeing that adults can live with confusing and disturbing questions eases childrens anxieties and gives them hope.
ACCEPTING EMOTIONAL BEHAVIOR: In the days and weeks to follow, children may be angry, anxious or
upset over the recent events. They will not usually realize why they are more troubled and/or troublesome. The adults calmness and understanding of these feelings will help children as they struggle to accept what has happened.
KEEPING OTHER THINGS STEADY: Keeping family and school routines as consistent, as much as possible, provides a sense of security and order at a time when children dont know what to expect.
Parents, teachers and other adults can help children face their feelings and slowly restore their faith in the adult world and themselves. This process may take weeks or months depending on how seriously the
childrens trust has been damaged. During this phase, childrens preoccupation with the thoughts and
feelings triggered by the situation waxes and wanes. For parents, this means that just when they least
expect it, the old questions and worries may pop up from their children again. With time and
parental/adult understanding, most children re-establish a wiser but genuine sense of trust and security.
If their distress and troublesome behaviors worsen or keep them from doing things other children their
age do, parents can help by arranging for them to see a mental health professional.
Adapted from materials produced by Carroll Cradock, Ph.D. and Jill Gardner, Ph.D. ©1991
